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  • Writer's pictureMegan

Living blog

Updated: Jan 10, 2020

Process first; Product second

Our world has changed a great deal since I first started learning how to write. My early influencers were authors who holed up in their caves for months, years, even an entire lifetime (Emily Dickinson), before their work made the light of day.

Even when I was a journalist, and my articles needed to be printed within a day of writing them, they were still vetted by a series of editors beforehand.

I have not fully adjusted to my words becoming public immediately after writing them as I’ve transitioned to blog and social media posts. In fact, I ask a friend to look over almost every article before publishing.

While a big part of me would much rather be that writer in the cave until I’m 100 percent satisfied, I’m also careful to not let my hesitancies stop me from sharing insights that may help others. I have gained a lot from watching spiritual vloggers, whose advice and channeling assisted my personal growth, despite that many of the terms they use are not clearly defined. Sometimes it’s fine to just put something out there even if it’s not worded in a way that everyone can grasp.

I recognize there’s a fine line here (as discussed further below). One valid critique of the spiritual community is that statements are made without proper evidence to back them up. Yet I think it’s okay to share perceptions as a step toward finding the truth. One of my life missions is to help reform the archetype of Virgo (my dominant energy). An aspect of that is not letting perfectionism impede progress. There can be lessons in the mess.

That’s why, as you read InnerSynastry articles, you’ll see underlined words that are not yet linked to other pages. The lines signify that I plan to post other articles with fuller explanations in the future, and in the meantime, I’m hoping you can intuitively fill in the blanks. I also anticipate returning to what I’ve previously published and make edits as my understanding of the subject deepens. At that time, I might break up the articles into smaller bites so concepts are more easily grasped. So you might want to return and reread after a few months pass.

For now, it might be best if you select a time to read when you can take your iPad and sit on the porch or park bench—or if it’s winter, by the fireplace. When your mind starts to wander, you can set down the iPad to digest and contemplate, then try reading a little more. Allow pauses to let your own insights flow in, allowing for much more depth and meaning than I could directly give you.

All writing is difficult, but articulating insights is particularly challenging. A life event or an exchange with a person will trigger me, and all of a sudden I’m aware of a wide swath of information about how the world works. I understand it well enough so that I can adjust my actions accordingly or share it with a sound client as needed. But explaining it in a linear fashion through written word is a whole other beast.

Yet there is something very important about attempting to do so. If it stays uncommunicated or remains in a select group’s awareness, then it’s not integrated. It hasn’t fully become “real” in the way that we typically define real.

Writing in essay format is just step one. Eventually, I’d like to be able to tell stories and use images so that the insight is understood by all sorts of audiences. Stories allow for gray area so individuals can derive their own interpretations, sparking their imagination so they can take home messages that are most suited for them—ones that I may not have even considered.

In sum, I might have a big project ahead of me, and all I can do is chip away at it as the moment dictates. Maybe this process in itself can be enlightening to readers. In the meantime, I notice that the topics that I feel inspired to write about very often end up arising in client sessions. If I’m helping them, then that accomplishes my purpose.

What exactly are these insights about?

A short way to describe my divination is to say it’s about the self and reality, although I recognize that some might think that phrase is a bit vague and quite lofty. Another way of phrasing it: The true underlying reason for why shit happens. Or, on the other hand, why we receive flowers.

Let’s at least take a step in breaking it down.

What is real, anyway? Those of us raised in Western society may have the notion that the physical world is the primary reality, and what is outside of us affects our internal well-being. It floods, so we lose our crop, then we don’t get paid, so we feel as if our survival is at stake, and that causes internal anxiety. What I’m exploring is how beliefs are linked to the creation of physical reality, not the other way around. What causes the flood in the first place?

Attempting to answer that question could take us down a deep rabbit hole, so I’ll leave that exploration for another article. I’ll just tell you, I have plenty of stories about how the beliefs that people carry seem to have tangibly affected the health of the plants at my farm and the events of the day. These people came into my life to be a mirror to me, showing me things about myself that I didn’t realize were there. I wouldn’t have noticed these parts of myself if events didn’t keep repeating when around certain individuals.

Limiting beliefs can be personal, such as “I must endure hardship to make a living,” or they can be broad such as “I only exist in one definitive universe.” Some people believe that there are an infinite number of universes, and we can switch to parallel ones if we simply change our belief systems. I have no way of knowing if that is true—what I’m interested in is, is this interpretation of the multiverse theory helpful for generating happiness and success? Does it lead to greater ease and independence?

Oil color painting "The Local Universe Map" by Niloufar Nilforoushan, Creative Commons, BY-SA 4.0

I’m contemplating if the subconscious is actually more “real” than physical reality. Anything that is in the subconscious that needs to be expressed but isn’t getting proper attention will show itself in physical reality. If we get ahead of the game and continually uncover what’s in the subconscious, then maybe alarming and destructive events won’t have to manifest externally.

The notion often perpetuated in the spiritual community that individuals manifest all events— including death, illness and disaster—is simplistic and insensitive. (That said, I do think what a soul chooses to go through to assist the greater collective is beyond what we can appreciate from our vantage point). What I’m looking at is how we habitually express certain archetypes.

I use astrology to describe and explore these archetypes, offering ways we can create different expressions of them. If someone has an excess of watery energy (particularly Neptune/Pisces), and grew up in a society in which that energy is only expressed as “flooding,” then that’s what they’re going to get. But if they learn to not only recognize how they are subconsciously repeating patterns, but also find different ways to express the abundance of water, then they might deal with fewer floods.

This is not easy. Particularly because our core belief systems run quite deep, making them difficult to alter—although change becomes easier with practice. Also, our reality is tied to other people. Loved ones are essentially us (since we are ultimately all one). It’s been said that we feel the most love for those who display hidden parts of ourselves. We are most tied to them because they are teaching us about ourselves. However, they are often on different timetables for collective lessons, so we have to give each other a lot of space to make sure everyone is learning their planetary curriculum at the appropriate pace. We won’t be able to reform the archetypes unless we figure out how to live independently yet also collectively.

My hope is that InnerSynastry, and the corresponding blog, helps one segment of the population understand the importance of exploration of self. Meanwhile, InnerSynastry also encourages another segment, which has been immersed in this healing process for several years, to come to the forefront. As people who have fine-tuned their energies start to value their unique expressions and find homes for their reformed selves, then we’ll start to see changes in the collective physical reality. At that point, our timetables might start to converge, and we can be with the people we love without feeling dissonance.

Much of Unity Astrology, which is what I call the method that I’m uncovering, is about finding which parts of us are disassociated (I’m using this word somewhat loosely—not clinically), and easing those parts back into ourselves at just the right time. Working with 12 frequencies associated with the celestial cycles, InnerSynastry sound sessions help us combine energies to balance out excesses, and also express them individually in a healthy way.

Unity. Photo by Frerieke from the Hague, Netherlands, Creative Commons, BY 2.0

There’s a time and a place for duality. Sure, the highest expression of an energy is when it’s unified—a properly blended gray—but black and white are important too. Preferably, we would be able to exhibit all of the frequencies in both a healthy dualistic way and also a unified way, switching as the situation demands.

Stay with me—in time all of this might become clearer.

Striking a balance

Given that a lot of my clients are grounded, practical people, I don’t want to be willy-nilly with my insights. I want to take the time to fully examine the concepts I’m raising and define uncommonly used words. Some skeptical folks might be repelled by any terms they associate with the spiritual genre, which I don’t fit fully into but have certainly gained from. I don’t want to exclude practical people—they are the ones who are most tied to the collective physical reality, so might benefit most from uncovering deep truths about how it is created.

This process of thoroughly defining words slows down the writing process, so giving birth to…whatever it is that I’m giving birth to…feels like never-ending labor. Yet it’s incredibly enlightening to chew on a word that I’ve heard a hundred times, and realize that my definition is different than how others use that word.

There’s a balance between thoroughly vetting theories and also getting the information out there for others to gain from. The main thing to keep in mind while reading is to consider my articles to be food for thought—not necessarily hard truths. When I’m writing it feels like truth, but then I realize later, that it was just one step into truth. That’s when I return to previously published articles to amend them.

As my audience expands, so does my own integration process. My self becomes more whole as more people enter my reality (even just as readers), and therefore I’m able to see things I didn’t before through a new lens. Please be aware that integration can make a person feel quite vulnerable, especially someone who is very aware of subtleties. Entering the world at the just the right pace is crucial for my well-being.

Because my “self” is linked with my clients’ and with the formation of this healing modality, I’ve accepted that this writing process is largely about my own self-development. Therefore, I’m not sure it’s important that my articles are fully understood at this moment. The point is that I’m taking the time to explore, and then attempting to articulate that exploration to others. As you enter my reality, you are widening my understanding, and that alone is enough for now.

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